Carey’s scaremongering on equal marriage, polygamy and incest

By Savi Hensman

June 1, 2013

Allowing same-sex as well as opposite-sex couples to marry will open the door to legalising polygamy and sibling marriage, Lord Carey claims. His alarmist views, at odds with those of many other Christians, show his lack of understanding of both the value of loving partnerships and the problems arising from polygamous and incestuous relationships.

These widely-reported claims appeared in a collection of essays for and against marriage equality, published by think-tank Civitas. Former Archbishop of Canterbury George Carey is expected to play a prominent part in debate in the House of Lords on the Marriage (Same Sex) Couples Bill, covering England and Wales.

According to Carey, for whom history is not a strong point, “marriage has always been understood as a heterosexual relationship binding a man and a woman in an exclusive and life-long commitment. Of course there have been some cultural and religiously driven differences. Both in the early Hebrew and Middle East societies polygamy was acceptable. However, this was more for the protection of women in patriarchal communities.”

This glosses over the sexual double standards found in numerous societies. The essay also denies the historical existence in certain communities of marriages between partners of the same biological sex.

Supposedly “marriage is the way that families begin their existence, with procreation as its central component. We should remind ourselves that in the Prayer Book the rite of marriage is termed as ‘The Solemnisation of Matrimony’ with the assumed purpose that the rich, lifelong and faithful union of man and wife will have an outcome in motherhood (mater/matris).”

According to Carey, “Love and commitment, of course, are vital elements in a marital relationship but they are present in many other relationships also.” The home secretary “has tossed out of the window a universal, biblical, historic and religious understanding of marriage that requires it to be exclusively heterosexual, with procreation as a potential outcome, and with social and public benefits.”

But many heterosexual couples do not, sometimes cannot, conceive children, while being fruitful in other ways. And, as numerous supporters of marriage equality have pointed out, committed same-sex partnerships often benefit communities.

A dramatic picture of social collapse is painted, since equal marriage will supposedly undermine the family which, from ancient times, has been “the source of elemental education; the central ritual unit; the link to the market place; the first hospice where our wounds are healed; and the place where we learn to differentiate right from wrong.”

Indeed, in Carey’s opinion, if marriage “is ‘about love and commitment’ then it is entirely logical to extend marriage to, say, two sisters bringing up children together. If it is merely ‘about love and commitment’ then there is nothing illogical about multiple relationships, such as two women and one man.”

Yet countries where polygamy is still legal are often highly patriarchal and ruthlessly repressive towards gays. While in Britain three or more adults are usually free to make private arrangements if they so choose, legislating for polygamy (so that, for instance, a man might have multiple wives) would increase the risk of institutionalised injustice. There would also be inherent complications, for instance in determining who would act as next of kin and, if a relationship were to break down, who would owe what to whom. There are good reasons why states might not wish to regulate, or faith groups promote, polygamous arrangements.

Likewise there are good reasons why incest tends to be frowned upon, including the power imbalance which tends to exist even between siblings let alone generations, disruption to family relationships and loss of opportunities to form loving bonds with those who are not kin so that, in Augustine’s phrase, “friendship extends itself to a larger number”.

Equal marriage is an entirely different matter, and Carey’s fears about its impact are implausible.

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(c) Savitri Hensman is a regular Christian commentator on politics, social justice, welfare and religion. She works in the care and equalities sector and is an Ekklesia associate.